So we're in church. Me and the 4 older kids. And we get to the part where everyone olds hands and says the Lord's Prayer. I am at the end of all the kids, and at the other end are the two 7 year olds, Lauren and Devin. Lauren reaches over to hold Devin's hand. Devin shakes her off. So Lauren grabs Devin's hand more forcibly. Devin fights her off, and by this time is getting really ticked off. And yes, right there, a scuffle ensues during the Lord's Prayer at church. A brawl, if you will. Hey, no one specifically said that offering someone the sign of peace excluded hair pulling.

When I say I can't take these kids anywhere.....

At the beginning of every school year I get a new set of Sharpie markers and label everything that goes to school with my kids. By now, all those labels are already wearing off. Gone from the water bottles, and almost gone from the lunch boxes. And very faded in the jackets. So what's going on with Sharpies, you may wonder. Has the quality of Sharpies gone way downhill? Well. Fear not. Let me tell you. Sharpie marker is absolutely indelible when written on a car. Silver OR white.

Side note: when your son tells you he is going outside to decorate his pumpkin you should probably be a little suspicious.

Lunch

Today I asked Collin what he wanted for lunch.

"A baloney sandwich" he tells me.

"With no bread on top. And no bread on the bottom."

"I need six of them, mommy." (holding up 3 fingers)

So yes, yes I did feed my child three slices of boloney for lunch. It went nicely with the donut, thank you very much.

oh, the irony

I am sitting at my computer working, and the boys are playing in the driveway and garage. I've got the window open, and I hear my friend DJ drive by and tell the boys, "This is for your mommy". So I get up, to see what she has left for me. As I go out to the mail box I realize that the boys have been entertaining themselves by egging our house. With eggs I threw away last Saturday. I guess this is only a misdemeanor, and not a felony like the previous B & E.

I really thought they'd be a little smarter, those kids. Egging YOUR OWN house?? Clearly we need to work on that.

What did DJ leave for me?

In case you can't read it, it says "Dear Husband: What Happens when a rambunctious six pack pushes their mom a little too far". From the February edition of Good Housekeeping.

and the best for last...

Only it isn't last, cause I did it in reverse order.

Too much awesome, to fit into one post...

Nice save, keeper.

I swear the kid actually plays other positions on the team. I just love these goalie pics. (a few aren't. but most are). And, although they look as though they were all taken on the same day, this is actually several games over a couple of seasons. Yeah, I know. Day after day, game after game... it all begins to blur!

But wait, there's more...

The boys followed their morning spent in criminal endeavors by sneaking the keys, locking themselves in the van and spraying sun block all over the place. I figured they could play out in their pool on the deck and this would keep them out of trouble. It worked for about 4 minutes, and the next thing I know Declan has opened up the window and is spraying the hose into the kitchen. Okay then, maybe they can play on the moon bounce without doing anything horrid. This works well for about 5 minutes. And then the next thing I hear is Collin screaming hysterically. Apparently Declan didn't want to share the moon bounce so he shoved his brother out. Into the windowsill. Head wounds bleed A LOT. And somewhere in the middle of it all, Declan decided to throw his sippy cup at his brother and instead hit ME! All bets are off when you whack your mom in the head with a sippy cup.

I'd say more, but I have to go upstairs and staple two little girls into their beds.

The boys are sitting on the front porch this morning and ask me for some orange juice. I go inside and pour two cups of OJ and come back out to find them sitting under a tree in the front yard. Eating marshmallows. Which they had stolen from my neighbor's pantry. Apparently she left her door unlocked this morning, and the boys felt free to go in and help themselves. And of course, they picked the special treat she'd brought back from London for her girls to pilfer. Another first in our home. Breaking and Entering. I can't wait to record this in their baby book. "First felony" must come right after the "first tooth" and "first steps" part.

In the back of a Paddy wagon, at the Police Station. Ah, foreshadowing.

self portrait

Here's the short version of what happened this afternoon, in the middle of meeting with my neighbor for soccer fundraising. We're sitting on the porch, there are a few friends over playing. Declan comes out with a gogurt (yogurt in a tube, mmm, gourmet) and some little kids' scissors. He wants to cut the top off of the gogurt by himself. Okay, I tell him, and I hold the tube at the bottom, and at the top so he can saw the top of the tube off. Right after this happens he sticks the scissors in his mouth. Get those out of your mouth! I tell him. Cause after all I am a good mom and know all those rules good moms know about running with scissors and poking your eyes out and what not, and surely this is covered under one of those laws. I am not kidding here- he says to me, "I won't cut myself", [mom, stop reading here] and then OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

Yep, those little "safety scissors" sliced right through the side of his tongue. At that point a ridiculous amount of blood started gushing out. And if you've never tried it, take it from me, it is really hard to apply direct pressure to the tongue of a three year old. We both stayed calm, though, and after about 30 minutes the bleeding stopped. I actually got him to fall asleep in my arms (he was tired from treasure camp this morning anyway) and I think that helped a lot because he was still then and the cut could clot up better when he wasn't moving.

Yeah, this is the same kid who went to the emergency room in June after he fell out of the shopping cart at warp speed. Luckily he'd already had a tetanus shot. And the doctor didn't feel like they could suture this because it is more of a flap than a cut.

He woke up from the nap fine, wanting to go for our nightly 1 mile walk. We'll see how tomorrow goes!

Darn, that might actually have not been the 'short' version.

So this morning I was really bringing my A game. I got lunch packed, soccer gear together and Connor out the door for soccer camp. I got the other 5 ready to go, gathered up a pile of library books, ran upstairs and changed out of my jammies (was thrilled to find a clean shirt), put my hair in a quick ponytail, and got to Regan's orthodontist appointment with one minute to spare.

So while she is getting her braces tweaked I am in the waiting room reading books to the kids off of the summer reading list. Thinking smugly to myself how well the morning is going so far. When I notice a string hanging on the hem of my shirt. Actually, a lot of strings. Because it wasn't a hem, so much as it was a SEAM. Because the shirt was inside out. And wouldn't you know it, when I turned the shirt right side out it was dirty on the other side!

Then after we got home my 7 year old, Lauren, walked over to me and put her hand gently on my arm and solemnly said "That's okay mom, I think I can fix your hair for you." "Fix my hair? Is something wrong with it?" "Oh mom. It's kind of, you know. Woah." And this is coming from a child who wears her shoes on the wrong feet most days.

So while I am getting my makeover, which involved 3 braids and purple lip gloss, my other 7 year old, Devin is in the front yard building a tree fort. An enterprise which entailed using the pruners to cut several limbs off of the tree, and then spilling a box of nails while trying to nail them back on in a fort like formation. And Declan, the 3 year old, is in the office with a box of neon band aids which he had stuck all over himself.

Later in the afternoon, our two cousins (boys) came for a visit, in addition to 2 neighborhood friends (girls). This is where things really deteriorated. For some reason boys and girls just can't play together without trouble brewing. Fighting, name calling. Atone point two boys called two of the girls "idiots". When they were questioned about this behavior one of these boys said, "She's an idiot! But she knows I wasn't being mean, she's not dumb!" There's some logic for you to ponder!

Right now it is 10 minutes to bedtime. Yippee! And it starts all over again tomorrow.

Say hello to my little friend!

During the first grade picnic, my daughter Lauren's teacher gave me a potted plant, to thank me for coming in to class and doing some copies and filing for her throughout the year.

This morning, I got up and hurried downstairs to start making breakfast. I decided this summer, that one day a week we were going to have "try something new day." Because I am SO sick of making the same things over and over again. This morning we were having a "Wild West Fritata". I knew it was going to take me a while to make it, and the kids were already hungry. So I am putting ingredients on the counter and trying to figure out where in the heck I put the sweet onion, when I noticed something. There were little white worms crawling all around the counter top. It takes me a while to grab them all up with a paper towel and wash them down the drain, and move everything and clean everything. Apparently, my plant was infested. With maggots.

I told the kids they could vote for how much they liked the fritata, and I would (or would not) include it as a part of our regular menu. Declan gobbled his up and then said "Don't make that again mom." The rest of the kids gave it a thumbs down, except for Devin, who loved it. Then she threw up 20 minutes later. Adios, Wild West Fritata. You will not be making another appearance at our house. And hopefully the maggots won't either. Euw! Euw! Euw! They can go, and take their lice friends with them.

I fully expect a cloud of locusts tomorrow. Riding in on a vidalia onion.

So I'm in my teeny tiny little laundry room- long enough to fit the washer and dryer with no inches to spare, and deep enough to fit me and an armful of dirty laundry, if I am not bloated. ( (Because really, for a woman with 6 children, a laundry room smaller than a Prius was a great decision!) So, because the laundry room is so small, the only place to keep the detergent, which we buy in 50 gallon drums, is on a shelf, above the washer. Over my head. So yesterday I was reaching up there to get a cap full of soap. I had the screw top loosened, because that makes the little spigot thing work more quickly. And quickly is always better when you've got 15 loads of laundry to do. And the next thing I know, the whole thing comes hurtling off the shelf at me, spilling everywhere. So really, my only course of action was to duck and cover and yell an expletive. Which the 3 year old heard, and really liked. Although he does get the context correct for usage, the funny thing here is that he MISheard it. So today, when he ran into a chair he yelled "BAMMIT" at the chair.

In other news, the girls got very sick on Sunday. Fevers up to 105. So we went to the doctor on Monday, and they tested + for the flu. Which, the doctor tells me, most likely means it is swine flu, because the A and B type flu are really long gone by this time of year.

And today, while I was rubbing my daughter's hot little head I realized our friends the lice are back to visit. Make that 25 loads of laundry!

Bammit.

At a parade, eating funnel cake. You'd think they'd look happier!

The most fun I ever had in the kids' school

The day before the last day of school I volunteered to help host the 4th grade picnic. The idea was to have the whole 4th grade rotate every 20 minutes, by class, through a series of five stations. Each station was to have a different activity for the kids. Our station was fear factor. The first challenge was getting three blindfolded contestants to pick cat poo out of a litter box. With their fingers. And eat it. Of course it was brown sugar and tootsie rolls. Which they figured out quickly enough. The second task was for three different blindfolded volunteers to stick their hand into a mess of slimy gross unknown creatures and fish one out. And eat it. Of course it was gummy worms, that were bloated and gross from having been soaked overnight in water. Which they figured out quickly enough. For the third task we had our brave volunteers stand in front of us, with their blindfolds on. Behind their backs we held up a can of dog food and asked the crowd to not yell out what they were seeing. We had a 4th volunteer open the can with a can opener. We then spooned generous quantities into the volunteers' mouths while the kids were screaming and going crazy. At one point the principal came in and she had a spoonful. During our last group we decided to get the teacher as a volunteer. The very sweet, about to retire teacher. She was a good sport. Nothing like going out with a bang!

Hands in the kitty litter!

Volunteers eating dog food.

Mrs. D. A good sport. Who figured out we'd soaked the labels off of dog food and put them onto cans of refried beans. The kids didn't always figure it out! Okay, seriously? 1 kid ran outside and threw up a little.

*Bragging* Connor got all As for the 4th grade final report card! And, he made the travel soccer team again (by the skin of his teeth!)

So, we're at the lake. My family, my inlaws, my husband's sister and her family... and I look out the french doors and see my two youngest standing on the deck, looking out at the lake. With their pants down. Peeing off the deck onto the grass below. It was such a proud moment for me. My parenting skills are clearly stellar. Pro tip: Do not walk up behind 2 three year old children and yell their names when they are peeing off a balcony.

This evening I was rushing around trying to get ready to go for a walk before the storm hit.  All of my kids were outside on the trampoline or the slip and slide as well as several neighborhood kids.  About 20 in all.  Except for Collin.  He's inside, all alone, playing in the corner of the kitchen.  As I am doing things, I can hear him over there, talking away, playing some sort of game he's making up.  So this has me thinking about how imaginatively he's playing.  I can hear him saying, "Now it's time for you to go home."  So I glance over and I see him playing with a rock.  How cute, I think.  He's pretending to try to get the rock to go into the nose of the elefun game (an elephant shaped toy with a 3 foot long flexible plastic nose that shoots out butterflies).  He sees me watching and says, "He won't get in there,  He won't go home." So I tell him, "It might not be a good idea to put a rock in there,  it might break the elephant's nose."  So I go off to do a few more things, and come back and he's got the rock in his sister's shoe.  "He's going to go to sleep in here," he tells me, "this is his bed."  "Okay," I say, "the rock can sleep in Devin's shoe."  Then Collin says, "It's not a rock, it's a froggy."  Sure enough, I get a closer look, and he's caught this rather large, brown frog and brought it into the house, and has been talking to it and playing with it for about a half an hour.  I should have gotten a picture but at that point both the frog and I were anxious for him to return to his real home.

He's actually sleeping on that chair.

Perplexed

Britney Spears has more followers on Twitter than Barack Obama.

The leader of the free world has a twitter account?

And he has fewer followers than a marginally talented pop star who doesn't, by the way, even write her own tweets.  

A tweet, for those who don't twitter, is a 140 character or less update on where you are or what you are doing,  at any given time.  And someone needs a ghost writer for that? 

  

You know what's great?  Going to 2 soccer games, a movie, a friend's house, the library, the grocery store, and THEN realizing you've been wearing your jammie top all day.  Yep, that's how I roll.  Obliviously.

The movie, by the way, was "Up".  I took 7 kids today to go see it.  $150 later....  I can tell you that the beginning of the movie was wonderful.  Poignant, and beautifully done.  The end of the movie involved 4 different trips to the bathroom, (with the same two kids)  so I am not too sure how it all worked out.  Dinner tonight was popcorn, with butter.  Not too shabby, two food groups, vegetable and dairy.  And fiber.  Fiber is good for you.  (Maybe it will speed up the marble elimination process.)

As for the soccer games, both girls FINALLY won one. Just in the nick of time, as the season (THANK GOD) ends next weekend.  In Lauren's game the ball actually accidentally rolled into the net of the opponent's team.  Without hesitation 15 excited parents leapt to their feet and yelled "SCORE!"  like a pack of soccer hooligans at a Man U match.  We can't be picky at this point.  A goal is a goal.  We'll take it.

Just de-licing the kids and their beds, scraping barf off of a comforter, cooking macaroni, twisting Devin's arm to do her book report, watching the Jetsons and waiting for Collin to poop out a marble. In other words, Tuesday.

Tonight is the big night!

The end-of-the-year preschool program.  God only knows how this one will go.  Everybody cross your fingers no one throws up or strips down during the show!

Me:  "Everybody just hang on a minute.  Mommy needs a moment of silence.  Mommy is very stressed right now."

Lauren:  "Are you going to cut off your ear, like Vincent VanGough did? He was very stressed too, you know."

update

 I just called the PW Co police department.  I talked to Officer Hernandez, who is the Information Officer.

She told me that not only did no one go in the building, there was NO ONE on the grounds.  According to her, a woman contacted the school and indicated that she wanted to come get her kids from school that day, but did not have custody.  And I guess the school was worried that she might show up.  And that everything else is fabrication.  She also suggested I call the school board because the school is causing such an uproar about this because they are unwilling to give out any real information.  The officer repeatedly said to me that at NO time were the kids ever in any danger.

What a relief.  I am hoping that this is finally the truth, and we can put all of this behind us. 

Not a happy post

Around 2:00 today we get this call from the school- an automated call telling us that an unstable individual was spotted "on the school grounds" and, in order to take every precaution to enforce security, the school went on lock-down, and called the police. They canceled after school activities, and walked every class of students to the bus one by one.  

(I'm thinking gee, that's a lot of caution, for just spotting someone on the grounds who may have looked suspicious)

Then around 5:30 we get another call- automated- thanking the parents for doing a wonderful job being patient at dismissal time, and also telling us that there are a lot of rumors floating around right now, and that we shouldn't believe them because they are only rumors, with no truth to them.

So at this point, red flags are popping up for me.

So I asked a friend of mine, who subs in the school.  This is 3rd hand information, but supposedly she talked to a cop who lives in our neighborhood who told her that what REALLY happened was that a mom came to the front desk and asked to pick up her children.  The front desk lady told her, I need to see your id (We have this computer system, that checks everyone for criminal records and also for custody purposes)  I don't know what exactly happened at this point, but she ran from there into the main office and PULLED OUT A GUN and demanded her children.

The office and clinic and speech rooms are all right there.  There were several children in the office area. (my kids went to the speech room today, earlier in the day)

They called 911 and at some point she took off and at this point, has NOT been apprehended.  The school was covered with cops today, and the plan is to have school tomorrow, on lock down, and with cops present.  

Assuming this information is true- and it may not be, but the school certainly isn't giving out any useful information at this point- 

This woman has a child in 1st grade.  Just like mine.  What if she had run to the classroom- rather than the office? She also has an older child, but I don't know what grade.

Connor's class is out in the trailer, and had to come inside, and will again tomorrow.  He is upstairs totally freaked out, refuses to sleep, has his game boy and ipod and every light on. And he doesn't even know what happened.  Just the general atmosphere was enough to freak him out, and his imagination has probably taken over.

And I am totally freaked out too.  Totally freaked.  I may just keep everyone home tomorrow. Although this may be a rumor and have no truth to it.  Although they could possibly catch this woman over night. Although if it is true, and they don't catch her she would probably not ever dare to go back to the school.  However, just thinking that some mentally imbalanced woman was THAT close to my children with a gun in her hand.  Oh my God.  

This is crazy that the school expects to conduct school tomorrow, business as usual, with the shades down, doors locked and cops all over the place. People say it all the time, but seriously, what is this world coming to? And by what right does the school withhold this kind of information from the parents and community?  Maybe it is all a rumor, after all.  I am sure the truth will come out eventually.  

More surprises!  

Yesterday Devin and Lauren had their 7 year old well check (a little late, they were 7 in February).  As we were sitting in the doctor's office, I realized that I was wearing the same clothes  I was wearing the day before when I was in the office. Embarrassing, yes.  But hey- when you have to make 3 trips  to the pediatrician in 4 days, and you haven't done laundry... well. Things happen.  So, we are sitting in the exam room.  Devin is on the exam table and Lauren is on my lap.  While she is sitting there, and I am answering doctor questions I notice that she keeps scratching her head.  So, as I am talking, I start to check her hair.  And, sure enough, she has lice.    And so do Devin, Connor, and Declan.  And me.  Gee, just a little embarrassing. This is our first infestation, and I hope our last. I'm starting to feel a little bit like Job here... with the lice, the strep, and the plague of ants in my kitchen.  And if someone doesn't clean up around here soon the "dung-heap" description will certainly be appropriate.  

I guess I've moved on from pee and vomit stories. I'm up to parasites.  

But on the plus side, I just got an email that the bath store has room freshener on sale, and they have my all time favorite scent- lemon!  I am going to drag the boys over there after their gym class this morning.  Talk about bulls in a china shop- all that glass and two crazy little boys.  I plan to ply them with candy and shop quickly.  I need some air freshener!  The honey suckle was obviously not a success.

Warning!  We have cooties!

The beauty of life is that it is filled with new experiences and surprises every day.  For example, yesterday my daughter was complaining that her ears hurt.  (Actually, she got up at 2:30 AM with an ear ache but that is another story).  So off we went to the pediatrician.  The nurse came in first and was asking Devin all the routine questions.  When she asked Devin if her throat had been hurting Devin said yes (to my surprise, I hadn't heard about that) so the nurse decided to be thorough and do a strep culture.  So, she gets out the long culture q-Tip.  (they come in grape and cherry now.  How clever is that?  Although I am not sure how much tasting your tonsils do when they jam that thing in the back of your throat.)  So she begins to take the culture and Devin makes a serious gagging noise.  Uh oh.  I am sitting on a chair, buried beneath two 3 year olds and a bead coaster, but I try to express to the nurse- who is very young, and very cutesy, all fixed up with, what do you call that stuff?  Make up?  And Jewlery?) that she may want to wait a minute and let Devin catch her breath when back in she goes with the grape flavored mega Q-tip.  And of course Devin barfs all over.  All over.  The nurse, herself, the floor, the bin of books under the exam table, my shoes, the bead coaster.  Maximun chaos ensues.  So, rather than opening the cabinet and handing her the handy emesis basin, the nurse decides that the best course of action would be to take the top off the lidded trash can, and give her that.  It takes a while to get the top off the can, and by this time there has been quite a bit more barfing. I probably should have done something, but at this point I was in duck and cover mode.  The nurse realizes she has a little barf on her smock and runs from the room.  A few minutes later an older nurse comes in and says, "yeah, these girls never know what to do.  They have to send the mom in."  We didn't see the perky nursey for the rest of our visit.  I think our picture is posted up under the front desk with a strict warning to not let us in again, under any circumstances.  Oh, and + for strep, as was her twin when we took her later in the day.  

Okay, gross I know, but at least it wasn't another pee story!!

For years I have been buying these air fresheners from Bath and Body works.  You plug them in, and they smell good until you need to change the little bulb filled with the scent at the end.  They are ridiculously priced, but if you wait for a sale you can get them 1/2 off.  So I usually try to stock up during the sale.  Well, I got to the last sale a little late, and they didn't have the scents I usually get. I didn't want to miss the sale price so I tried a couple of new ones.  One of these was Honeysuckle.  Sounds great, right?  I love the smell of honeysuckle in the evenings.  The problem is, this air freshener is much, MUCH too potent.  This morning, as I was getting the boys ready to go to their kiddie gym class, I decided to unplug it, because it was just too much.  Then I walked into the next room to sit down with the boys and put their shoes on.  Declan jumps up and says he has to go potty before we leave.  No problem.  He comes back a few minutes later and sits in my lap to put his shoes on.  While he is sitting there I notice that he smells rather strongly of honeysuckle.  So I ask him "Declan, were you playing with mommy's thing in the bathroom?"  "Oh yeah," he tells me, "I had to do some pee pee into that smelly thing."  Darn Y chromosome.

You can see that the top does have a rather inviting design.  Nice and cup like.

A few weeks ago we got a letter that our daughter Lauren had been selected as one of the participants in the All County Art Fair.  She was very excited about it.  So I decided, that even though we had 4 other functions that Saturday, and my husband would be gone all day with my son's soccer team at a tournament, we were going to go to this art show.  So I loaded the kids up in the car, got a quick lunch at McDonald's to eat on the way, entered the address into the GPS and got entirely lost.  After an hour of driving around we finally found the school where the art show was located.  It was PACKED!  We struggled through the sweltering building,like salmon swimming upstream, to try to find the exhibit for her school.  We were given a handy map, which indicated we were in section 51, in the orange group.  We followed the helpful signs on the walls to... nowhere.  Apparently they'd been put up incorrectly! I finally saw one of my neighbors who pointed us in the correct direction.  We found her art work, snapped a picture, and then found a restroom, and left for the next activity. (Girl Scout cookie booth sale) Luckily, we got home in only 40 minutes!

The following Monday I went to the school to pick up a sick child.  And what should be in the hallway?  The art exhibit.  Right there, conveniently located!  Oh well.  It made Lauren happy, so that was all that mattered.

Then tonight she is doing some homework at the table.  She is writing a book report about a book about a fox.  As part of the assignment she has to draw a picture.  She asks me three times to draw a fox for her.  I insist that I am no fox-drawer and any fox she can draw will be 100 times better than what I could do.  Eventually she wandered off to play with her brother, so I check the book report, assuming she didn't finish.  But she had finished, all on her own.  Now, I know I am biased, but really, isn't this an amazing picture of a fox playing a guitar???  Not too shabby for a kid who puts her shoes on the wrong feet EVERY day still.

I was out shopping yesterday and my husband sent me this picture on my cell phone.

I haven't asked him yet what it is all about because, really, I don't think I want to know.

Woot! Woot!

So this morning Collin decided that he would only come down stairs if I went upstairs and walked down with him.  The trouble was, I really didn't have time to do that.  I was trying to get the older 4 kids out the door to the bus stop.  After a few minutes of yelling he decided to come down on his own.  He was very miffed that he didn't get his way, so he went into my living room - the only room in the house that is verboten (where I keep the antiques and china we never use).  In fact in our house this room is known as the "no allowed baby room".  So Collin went in there and threw himself down on the floor and started throwing things about and wailing. A good old fashioned tantrum.  I went in there and helped him to calm down.  Then I made him clean up the mess he'd made. And while he was putting the cushions back on the sofa, eureka! (Motto of the state of CA) there it was!  The missing key. It magically grew legs and wandered into a room no one is allowed in!  I'm just glad it has been found.  So I guess tantrums aren't always a bad thing!

I still want to run over something though.  I mean, other than scooters, accidentally.  

All three of my girls are in the Girl Scout program.  Regan is a junior scout, and Devin and Lauren are Brownies this year.  But, they almost weren't.  The troop leader was having a hard time getting volunteers to help the troop.  So she was going to disband the troop unless one parent volunteered to be a "camping mom" and one to be  the "cookie mom".  In a weak moment, I caved.  (I went for "cookie mom" because I figured it didn't involve sleeping in a tent and pooping in the woods).

So, since December, I have been involved in organizing and selling cookies, collecting money, ordering more cookies, depositing money into two accounts, and

 planning those annoying booth sales where you are cornered every time you try to go buy some milk and bread.  We will be finished (assuming everyone turns in their money) on April 3rd.  

So today I start to count and organize the latest batch of money to make our next deposit tomorrow.  I count up everything people have given me from their personal sales.  Everything adds up!  Fantastic!  Then I go to get the cash box, to count the profits from last weekend's booth sale.  Small problem.  The key is gone.  And no one knows who took it, or where it could possibly be.  

At one point Declan insisted that Collin (who was napping) had taken it outside and thrown it into the bushes.  I am not sure what my neighbors thought when they saw us in the cul-de-sac swatting bushes and looking around.  He then told me that after Collin threw the key into the bushes Connor (who was at school) came and threw the key into the gutter. Or maybe it was Lauren(who was also at school). Yes, it was definitely Lauren.  At this point I went back inside. Keyless and clueless.  

My big plan is to go to Walmart tomorrow and see if I can find a similar one, and open the box. Plan B is running over it with my car. I'm actually not sure what this will accomplish, but it kind of sounds like fun.

New One

I am in the kitchen this afternoon unloading the kids' backpacks when I hear things being thrown over the second floor banister onto the floor in the foyer below.  A beloved (and forbidden) pass-time in our house.  "Who's throwing things over the rail?!" I yell out.  "It's me, Declan", yells Collin.  A pause.  "No, it's ME, Collin," yells Declan.

Claiming blame in someone else's name.  Good one.  I guess that's what brothers are for :)

Ironically though, it turned out to be Lauren!

Ever wondered...  if you made a birthday cake, a nice yellow birthday cake - with a whole stick of butter in it! And frosted it- yellow, like Sponge Bob.  And decorated it so nicely for your daughter's birthday... what it would look like if a three year old came along and licked all the frosting off?  ALL the frosting?  

(This is not the guilty party, by the way.  The guilty one was hiding under the desk.  This guy learned how to use the web camera, and loves to be a part of any picture taking.)

In his free time, my son also plays basketball.  A couple of weekends ago we were at one of his games.  I was sitting right behind the basket, so that I could get a picture of Connor making a shot.  My husband, and the rest of the kids were some distance away, on the sidelines.  At one point during the game Collin decided he was going to get a drink from the water fountain.  The water fountain was located with the restrooms down a very short hall right next to where my husband was sitting with the kids.  I see the two of them talking and then Collin wander off alone down the hallway toward the water fountain.  At this point my husband forgets all about Collin and begins watching the game. I am trying to watch the game and watch for Collin to return.  I notice it is taking a bit longer than I am comfortable with.  Just as I am about to get up and go off in search Collin saunters back in.  He very casually walks back into the gym, and climbs up into his seat beside my husband.  Completely naked.  No pants, no shoes, no socks, NOTHING.  And begins to watch the game.  At this point I am gesturing frantically to my husband.  He finally turns and notices his naked child next to him and, in the nature of fathers everywhere, loses his mind.  

Can you believe I was sitting right there with my camera, and didn't get a picture?  What was I thinking? (It's hard to see, but in the photo above, he is in white, #42- he has just thrown the ball toward the net- toward, but not in!  :)

I went over to a neighbor's house tonight and heard the nicest thing about my daughter.  (The dress twirler, who is part monkey).  This neighbor substitutes in my daughter's school.  Today she was subbing in the special ed classroom.  One of her students goes to PE with my daughter's class one day a week for mainstreaming.  Her name is Olivia.  My neighbor told me that Olivia was having a very bad day today.  She had to restrain her several times, and there were a lot of tantrums and other behaviors going on.  When she brought Olivia to the gym she was having some trouble.  Apparently, most of the first graders were very wide-eyed and staring, not knowing how to respond to this.  But Lauren stood up (they were seated on the floor) and flung her arms open and said "Olivia!  Come on over here! "  And Olivia calmed down and walked over to Lauren, and Lauren gave her a big hug, and then sat her down right next to her on the mat, and told her, "I'm so glad you're here, I was waiting for you to come!"  And then Lauren held her hand, and rubbed her back throughout the class whenever she was getting nervous or upset.  But Olivia made it all the way through the class, participated and had a good time, with Lauren.  My neighbor told me she and the PE teacher were both amazed that Olivia was so successful, and that Lauren had totally jumped right up and made Olivia her friend in that way.  I am really proud of her, but not so very surprised.  She's like a little walking heart- with her shoes on the wrong feet :) 

Lauren recently discovered that our computer has a camera built into it.  And it takes all sorts of wacky photos.  I came in one day and discovered we had over 100 pictures in our "photobooth".  90 of them were Lauren!!!