Thursday, June 25, 2009

Say hello to my little friend!

During the first grade picnic, my daughter Lauren's teacher gave me a potted plant, to thank me for coming in to class and doing some copies and filing for her throughout the year.

This morning, I got up and hurried downstairs to start making breakfast. I decided this summer, that one day a week we were going to have "try something new day." Because I am SO sick of making the same things over and over again. This morning we were having a "Wild West Fritata". I knew it was going to take me a while to make it, and the kids were already hungry. So I am putting ingredients on the counter and trying to figure out where in the heck I put the sweet onion, when I noticed something. There were little white worms crawling all around the counter top. It takes me a while to grab them all up with a paper towel and wash them down the drain, and move everything and clean everything. Apparently, my plant was infested. With maggots.

I told the kids they could vote for how much they liked the fritata, and I would (or would not) include it as a part of our regular menu. Declan gobbled his up and then said "Don't make that again mom." The rest of the kids gave it a thumbs down, except for Devin, who loved it. Then she threw up 20 minutes later. Adios, Wild West Fritata. You will not be making another appearance at our house. And hopefully the maggots won't either. Euw! Euw! Euw! They can go, and take their lice friends with them.

I fully expect a cloud of locusts tomorrow. Riding in on a vidalia onion.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

So I'm in my teeny tiny little laundry room- long enough to fit the washer and dryer with no inches to spare, and deep enough to fit me and an armful of dirty laundry, if I am not bloated. ( (Because really, for a woman with 6 children, a laundry room smaller than a Prius was a great decision!) So, because the laundry room is so small, the only place to keep the detergent, which we buy in 50 gallon drums, is on a shelf, above the washer. Over my head. So yesterday I was reaching up there to get a cap full of soap. I had the screw top loosened, because that makes the little spigot thing work more quickly. And quickly is always better when you've got 15 loads of laundry to do. And the next thing I know, the whole thing comes hurtling off the shelf at me, spilling everywhere. So really, my only course of action was to duck and cover and yell an expletive. Which the 3 year old heard, and really liked. Although he does get the context correct for usage, the funny thing here is that he MISheard it. So today, when he ran into a chair he yelled "BAMMIT" at the chair.

In other news, the girls got very sick on Sunday. Fevers up to 105. So we went to the doctor on Monday, and they tested + for the flu. Which, the doctor tells me, most likely means it is swine flu, because the A and B type flu are really long gone by this time of year.

And today, while I was rubbing my daughter's hot little head I realized our friends the lice are back to visit. Make that 25 loads of laundry!

At a parade, eating funnel cake. You'd think they'd look happier!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

The most fun I ever had in the kids' school

The day before the last day of school I volunteered to help host the 4th grade picnic. The idea was to have the whole 4th grade rotate every 20 minutes, by class, through a series of five stations. Each station was to have a different activity for the kids. Our station was fear factor. The first challenge was getting three blindfolded contestants to pick cat poo out of a litter box. With their fingers. And eat it. Of course it was brown sugar and tootsie rolls. Which they figured out quickly enough. The second task was for three different blindfolded volunteers to stick their hand into a mess of slimy gross unknown creatures and fish one out. And eat it. Of course it was gummy worms, that were bloated and gross from having been soaked overnight in water. Which they figured out quickly enough. For the third task we had our brave volunteers stand in front of us, with their blindfolds on. Behind their backs we held up a can of dog food and asked the crowd to not yell out what they were seeing. We had a 4th volunteer open the can with a can opener. We then spooned generous quantities into the volunteers' mouths while the kids were screaming and going crazy. At one point the principal came in and she had a spoonful. During our last group we decided to get the teacher as a volunteer. The very sweet, about to retire teacher. She was a good sport. Nothing like going out with a bang!
Hands in the kitty litter!

Volunteers eating dog food.

Mrs. D. A good sport. Who figured out we'd soaked the labels off of dog food and put them onto cans of refried beans. The kids didn't always figure it out! Okay, seriously? 1 kid ran outside and threw up a little.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

*Bragging* Connor got all As for the 4th grade final report card! And, he made the travel soccer team again (by the skin of his teeth!)

So, we're at the lake. My family, my inlaws, my husband's sister and her family... and I look out the french doors and see my two youngest standing on the deck, looking out at the lake. With their pants down. Peeing off the deck onto the grass below. It was such a proud moment for me. My parenting skills are clearly stellar. Pro tip: Do not walk up behind 2 three year old children and yell their names when they are peeing off a balcony.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

This evening I was rushing around trying to get ready to go for a walk before the storm hit.  All of my kids were outside on the trampoline or the slip and slide as well as several neighborhood kids.  About 20 in all.  Except for Collin.  He's inside, all alone, playing in the corner of the kitchen.  As I am doing things, I can hear him over there, talking away, playing some sort of game he's making up.  So this has me thinking about how imaginatively he's playing.  I can hear him saying, "Now it's time for you to go home."  So I glance over and I see him playing with a rock.  How cute, I think.  He's pretending to try to get the rock to go into the nose of the elefun game (an elephant shaped toy with a 3 foot long flexible plastic nose that shoots out butterflies).  He sees me watching and says, "He won't get in there,  He won't go home." So I tell him, "It might not be a good idea to put a rock in there,  it might break the elephant's nose."  So I go off to do a few more things, and come back and he's got the rock in his sister's shoe.  "He's going to go to sleep in here," he tells me, "this is his bed."  "Okay," I say, "the rock can sleep in Devin's shoe."  Then Collin says, "It's not a rock, it's a froggy."  Sure enough, I get a closer look, and he's caught this rather large, brown frog and brought it into the house, and has been talking to it and playing with it for about a half an hour.  I should have gotten a picture but at that point both the frog and I were anxious for him to return to his real home.

He's actually sleeping on that chair.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Britney Spears has more followers on Twitter than Barack Obama.

The leader of the free world has a twitter account?

And he has fewer followers than a marginally talented pop star who doesn't, by the way, even write her own tweets.  

A tweet, for those who don't twitter, is a 140 character or less update on where you are or what you are doing,  at any given time.  And someone needs a ghost writer for that? 


Saturday, June 6, 2009

You know what's great?  Going to 2 soccer games, a movie, a friend's house, the library, the grocery store, and THEN realizing you've been wearing your jammie top all day.  Yep, that's how I roll.  Obliviously.

The movie, by the way, was "Up".  I took 7 kids today to go see it.  $150 later....  I can tell you that the beginning of the movie was wonderful.  Poignant, and beautifully done.  The end of the movie involved 4 different trips to the bathroom, (with the same two kids)  so I am not too sure how it all worked out.  Dinner tonight was popcorn, with butter.  Not too shabby, two food groups, vegetable and dairy.  And fiber.  Fiber is good for you.  (Maybe it will speed up the marble elimination process.)

As for the soccer games, both girls FINALLY won one. Just in the nick of time, as the season (THANK GOD) ends next weekend.  In Lauren's game the ball actually accidentally rolled into the net of the opponent's team.  Without hesitation 15 excited parents leapt to their feet and yelled "SCORE!"  like a pack of soccer hooligans at a Man U match.  We can't be picky at this point.  A goal is a goal.  We'll take it.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Just de-licing the kids and their beds, scraping barf off of a comforter, cooking macaroni, twisting Devin's arm to do her book report, watching the Jetsons and waiting for Collin to poop out a marble. In other words, Tuesday.