But wait, there's more...

The boys followed their morning spent in criminal endeavors by sneaking the keys, locking themselves in the van and spraying sun block all over the place. I figured they could play out in their pool on the deck and this would keep them out of trouble. It worked for about 4 minutes, and the next thing I know Declan has opened up the window and is spraying the hose into the kitchen. Okay then, maybe they can play on the moon bounce without doing anything horrid. This works well for about 5 minutes. And then the next thing I hear is Collin screaming hysterically. Apparently Declan didn't want to share the moon bounce so he shoved his brother out. Into the windowsill. Head wounds bleed A LOT. And somewhere in the middle of it all, Declan decided to throw his sippy cup at his brother and instead hit ME! All bets are off when you whack your mom in the head with a sippy cup.

I'd say more, but I have to go upstairs and staple two little girls into their beds.

The boys are sitting on the front porch this morning and ask me for some orange juice. I go inside and pour two cups of OJ and come back out to find them sitting under a tree in the front yard. Eating marshmallows. Which they had stolen from my neighbor's pantry. Apparently she left her door unlocked this morning, and the boys felt free to go in and help themselves. And of course, they picked the special treat she'd brought back from London for her girls to pilfer. Another first in our home. Breaking and Entering. I can't wait to record this in their baby book. "First felony" must come right after the "first tooth" and "first steps" part.

In the back of a Paddy wagon, at the Police Station. Ah, foreshadowing.

self portrait

Here's the short version of what happened this afternoon, in the middle of meeting with my neighbor for soccer fundraising. We're sitting on the porch, there are a few friends over playing. Declan comes out with a gogurt (yogurt in a tube, mmm, gourmet) and some little kids' scissors. He wants to cut the top off of the gogurt by himself. Okay, I tell him, and I hold the tube at the bottom, and at the top so he can saw the top of the tube off. Right after this happens he sticks the scissors in his mouth. Get those out of your mouth! I tell him. Cause after all I am a good mom and know all those rules good moms know about running with scissors and poking your eyes out and what not, and surely this is covered under one of those laws. I am not kidding here- he says to me, "I won't cut myself", [mom, stop reading here] and then OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

Yep, those little "safety scissors" sliced right through the side of his tongue. At that point a ridiculous amount of blood started gushing out. And if you've never tried it, take it from me, it is really hard to apply direct pressure to the tongue of a three year old. We both stayed calm, though, and after about 30 minutes the bleeding stopped. I actually got him to fall asleep in my arms (he was tired from treasure camp this morning anyway) and I think that helped a lot because he was still then and the cut could clot up better when he wasn't moving.

Yeah, this is the same kid who went to the emergency room in June after he fell out of the shopping cart at warp speed. Luckily he'd already had a tetanus shot. And the doctor didn't feel like they could suture this because it is more of a flap than a cut.

He woke up from the nap fine, wanting to go for our nightly 1 mile walk. We'll see how tomorrow goes!

Darn, that might actually have not been the 'short' version.

So this morning I was really bringing my A game. I got lunch packed, soccer gear together and Connor out the door for soccer camp. I got the other 5 ready to go, gathered up a pile of library books, ran upstairs and changed out of my jammies (was thrilled to find a clean shirt), put my hair in a quick ponytail, and got to Regan's orthodontist appointment with one minute to spare.

So while she is getting her braces tweaked I am in the waiting room reading books to the kids off of the summer reading list. Thinking smugly to myself how well the morning is going so far. When I notice a string hanging on the hem of my shirt. Actually, a lot of strings. Because it wasn't a hem, so much as it was a SEAM. Because the shirt was inside out. And wouldn't you know it, when I turned the shirt right side out it was dirty on the other side!

Then after we got home my 7 year old, Lauren, walked over to me and put her hand gently on my arm and solemnly said "That's okay mom, I think I can fix your hair for you." "Fix my hair? Is something wrong with it?" "Oh mom. It's kind of, you know. Woah." And this is coming from a child who wears her shoes on the wrong feet most days.

So while I am getting my makeover, which involved 3 braids and purple lip gloss, my other 7 year old, Devin is in the front yard building a tree fort. An enterprise which entailed using the pruners to cut several limbs off of the tree, and then spilling a box of nails while trying to nail them back on in a fort like formation. And Declan, the 3 year old, is in the office with a box of neon band aids which he had stuck all over himself.

Later in the afternoon, our two cousins (boys) came for a visit, in addition to 2 neighborhood friends (girls). This is where things really deteriorated. For some reason boys and girls just can't play together without trouble brewing. Fighting, name calling. Atone point two boys called two of the girls "idiots". When they were questioned about this behavior one of these boys said, "She's an idiot! But she knows I wasn't being mean, she's not dumb!" There's some logic for you to ponder!

Right now it is 10 minutes to bedtime. Yippee! And it starts all over again tomorrow.