oh, the irony

I am sitting at my computer working, and the boys are playing in the driveway and garage. I've got the window open, and I hear my friend DJ drive by and tell the boys, "This is for your mommy". So I get up, to see what she has left for me. As I go out to the mail box I realize that the boys have been entertaining themselves by egging our house. With eggs I threw away last Saturday. I guess this is only a misdemeanor, and not a felony like the previous B & E.

I really thought they'd be a little smarter, those kids. Egging YOUR OWN house?? Clearly we need to work on that.

What did DJ leave for me?

In case you can't read it, it says "Dear Husband: What Happens when a rambunctious six pack pushes their mom a little too far". From the February edition of Good Housekeeping.

and the best for last...

Only it isn't last, cause I did it in reverse order.

Too much awesome, to fit into one post...

Nice save, keeper.

I swear the kid actually plays other positions on the team. I just love these goalie pics. (a few aren't. but most are). And, although they look as though they were all taken on the same day, this is actually several games over a couple of seasons. Yeah, I know. Day after day, game after game... it all begins to blur!

But wait, there's more...

The boys followed their morning spent in criminal endeavors by sneaking the keys, locking themselves in the van and spraying sun block all over the place. I figured they could play out in their pool on the deck and this would keep them out of trouble. It worked for about 4 minutes, and the next thing I know Declan has opened up the window and is spraying the hose into the kitchen. Okay then, maybe they can play on the moon bounce without doing anything horrid. This works well for about 5 minutes. And then the next thing I hear is Collin screaming hysterically. Apparently Declan didn't want to share the moon bounce so he shoved his brother out. Into the windowsill. Head wounds bleed A LOT. And somewhere in the middle of it all, Declan decided to throw his sippy cup at his brother and instead hit ME! All bets are off when you whack your mom in the head with a sippy cup.

I'd say more, but I have to go upstairs and staple two little girls into their beds.

The boys are sitting on the front porch this morning and ask me for some orange juice. I go inside and pour two cups of OJ and come back out to find them sitting under a tree in the front yard. Eating marshmallows. Which they had stolen from my neighbor's pantry. Apparently she left her door unlocked this morning, and the boys felt free to go in and help themselves. And of course, they picked the special treat she'd brought back from London for her girls to pilfer. Another first in our home. Breaking and Entering. I can't wait to record this in their baby book. "First felony" must come right after the "first tooth" and "first steps" part.

In the back of a Paddy wagon, at the Police Station. Ah, foreshadowing.

self portrait

Here's the short version of what happened this afternoon, in the middle of meeting with my neighbor for soccer fundraising. We're sitting on the porch, there are a few friends over playing. Declan comes out with a gogurt (yogurt in a tube, mmm, gourmet) and some little kids' scissors. He wants to cut the top off of the gogurt by himself. Okay, I tell him, and I hold the tube at the bottom, and at the top so he can saw the top of the tube off. Right after this happens he sticks the scissors in his mouth. Get those out of your mouth! I tell him. Cause after all I am a good mom and know all those rules good moms know about running with scissors and poking your eyes out and what not, and surely this is covered under one of those laws. I am not kidding here- he says to me, "I won't cut myself", [mom, stop reading here] and then OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

Yep, those little "safety scissors" sliced right through the side of his tongue. At that point a ridiculous amount of blood started gushing out. And if you've never tried it, take it from me, it is really hard to apply direct pressure to the tongue of a three year old. We both stayed calm, though, and after about 30 minutes the bleeding stopped. I actually got him to fall asleep in my arms (he was tired from treasure camp this morning anyway) and I think that helped a lot because he was still then and the cut could clot up better when he wasn't moving.

Yeah, this is the same kid who went to the emergency room in June after he fell out of the shopping cart at warp speed. Luckily he'd already had a tetanus shot. And the doctor didn't feel like they could suture this because it is more of a flap than a cut.

He woke up from the nap fine, wanting to go for our nightly 1 mile walk. We'll see how tomorrow goes!

Darn, that might actually have not been the 'short' version.